Judge Quicksand

Resident Since: 2010-07-08 (15 years, 9 months ago)

⚠️ BEFORE YOU INTERACT ⚠️
(Failure to comply may result in nothing at all)

Approach Protocol
# Please approach from the left unless Mercury is in retrograde, in which case clockwise eye contact is acceptable.
# Running is discouraged unless chased by geese, existential dread, or both.
# If you arrive via teleport, allow 3–5 business seconds for my personality to fully rez.

Conversation Guidelines
# Do not open with “hi”, “hello”, or any greeting that suggests effort.

Acceptable openers include:
# “Is this where the thing happened?”
# “I feel like you know why I’m here.”
# A single period, followed by silence.

Small talk is allowed but will be silently judged for texture and mouthfeel.

Topics to Avoid
# Your real life (unless it’s fake).
# My real life (especially if it exists).
# Astrology, except when used incorrectly.
# Drama, unless it’s vintage, expired, or clearly misremembered.

Topics Encouraged
# Inventions that failed for emotional reasons.
# Arguments you won in the shower.
# Animals that feel like they’re hiding something.
# The concept of chairs.

Roleplay Boundaries
# I am not:
* Your therapist
* Your dom
* Your sub
* Your mom
* Your dad
* Your emotional support human
# I might be:
* A background character
* A rumor
* Someone you almost recognize

Small talk is permitted for 3 minutes. At 3:01 it becomes conversation, and I reserve the right to disagree retroactively.

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