Koko (koko.chau)

Resident Since: 2009-02-15 (16 years, 2 months ago)

Engaged, not looking.

Today, I choose myself over others, to heal my soul.The process of restoring it is a journey full of resolving doubts and conceptions about myself I learned to eye warily. I make decisions when pushed too far that may cause everyone pain, but I have to use it this way to save myself from perceived harm of others choosing themselves first (like I have had to do). I have worth that I frequently deny to allow others to manipulate and lie. I have to learn to draw this line at the first sign of turmoil instead of running away out of fear that I will be broken to bits. I refuse to shatter like glass in this world that I find myself in. I have to remember my own decency, principles and true value. I have found her again and I have missed her. I find it amazing that someone can be in such a state of mental distress and with one swift, painful decision, can quiet it all down so quickly. If I run from you, think of it as me running to myself. If you cause angst and drama, expect to be relegated to obscurity very suddenly, when it dawns on me that I must choose myself over you. Self preservation comes quicker than it used to. Poetic justice, Karma, call it what you wish. My limitations for lies, half truths and the insecurity of others is very low at the moment. Keep all your snarky comments about me to yourself. What you think of me is not my business. If you choose to discuss me and I find out, be prepared for a big dose of IDGAF. If you have an aversion to self growth and change, please, do me a favor and go away. We are constantly evolving as people, stagnation reflects qualities I am not interested in. Try living outside of your ego. We must demand better, as women.

You can forgive some people WITHOUT welcoming them back into your life.

Apology accepted, access denied.

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